What Wrinkles Hold
Image by Vilius Kukanauskas from Pixabay
Audrey Hepburn, known for her role in the 1961 movie Breakfast at Tiffany’s, was one of a handful of entertainers to win an Oscar, Tony, Emmy, and Grammy Award. She was talented, beautiful, and a humanitarian who became involved with UNICEF in 1954, was appointed a Goodwill Ambassador in 1988, and served the organization until the year of her death in 1993.
Photoshop isn’t for everyone.
It was reported in 1990, the year the first public version of Photoshop was released, that in promotional images of her taken during a UNICEF mission, she had smoothed-out skin, and she told the photographer, “Don’t you dare touch any one of those wrinkles; I earned every single one of them.”
What a role model she would be in today’s world.
Nowadays, young women in their twenties brag about their Botox injections. They’re in the prime of their lives but still feel a need to make themselves prettier. Perfect. If there is such a thing. Yet Hepburn, a star known for iconic beauty, rejected touch-ups just three years before she died at the age of 63.
Cosmetic surgery is real-life Photoshop.
A recent conversation with a friend veered to cosmetic surgery because so many people our age were having it done. We agreed that nobody likes to look in the mirror and see the undeniable truth that they’ve aged. But why fight aging and lust for youthfulness when aging happens to everyone? We’re all in the same boat.
I once entertained having eyelid surgery, but quickly realized that you’re just fighting the inevitable. And the earlier you have it done, the more likely you are to need it again. If you give in to it once, will the need to look younger ever stop? How many surgeries are you willing to have?
Growing old is a gift
When did youthfulness become revered and aging reviled? Is there no beauty in wisdom anymore? And why have elders lost their stature in society? If you need advice, are you more likely to gravitate toward someone young or someone with a few wrinkles, holding stories about life and lessons learned? As my friend said during our conversation, “Some people never get to grow old. It’s a gift to have that opportunity.”
With age comes wisdom.
That abbreviated quote from Irish Poet Oscar Wilde seems to infer that wisdom is revered, so by default, does that include aging and elders? I recently read that kids with grandparents actively involved in their lives tend to fare better emotionally, socially, and academically. The article called it the Grandparent Effect, and it suggests that grandparents provide a strong psychological safety net that enhances emotional resilience, lowers rates of depression and anxiety, strengthens a sense of identity, and boosts language and cognitive skills.
Grandparents offer a sense of belonging.
Grandparents who live close enough to co-parent on some level can help buffer stress and provide stability, especially in a single-parent home. And it doesn’t hurt that a grandparent’s approval means a lot to a child. That unique kind of unconditional love and validation helps build self-esteem, a sense of security, and identity. And the stories grandparents tell about the good old days offer legacy, rootedness, tradition, and belonging. Something big that children are part of - family, extended family, community, and history.
Wrinkles have value
A neuropsychologist once told me there are two types of knowledge – book learning and life experience – and one is just as important as the other. If an elder offers advice, and you don’t believe it’s applicable in the modern world, take a moment to show that you appreciate the life they lead, the experiences they had, the knowledge they possess, and their willingness to share. What wrinkles hold is far more valuable than anything AI will ever tell you.
Until next time,
Jean
AKA The Strategic Chicken - making life’s journey one strategic step at a time
