Some People Make Us Better
If we’re lucky, the people who venture in and out of our lives make a difference. Make us better. Wiser. Stronger. Not because they try to teach us; They leave a mark, simply by being themselves. They lead by example. All we have to do is watch and learn through osmosis. My Tai Chi instructor, Jim, was one of those people. He passed away some time ago, but he’s been on my mind a lot lately.
In my late thirties, I started to hear a lot about the benefits of Tai Chi. When curiosity got the best of me, I found an affordable beginner class at the YMCA. I walked in, not knowing what to expect, and met Jim. I didn’t know his age, but if I were to guess, I’d say he was in his mid-50s. Bald. Short. Stocky. Quiet. Confident. Intuitive. And quite a presence. During my eight years as one of his many students, I followed him wherever he taught. Over time, I learned bits and pieces about his life.
Strength from adversity
Jim was a tough streetwise kid who grew up in the foster care system on the north shore of Massachusetts. At some point, he thankfully discovered martial arts. By the time I met him, he’d achieved his Fifth-degree Black Belt in Shotokan karate, known for discipline, strength, and character building. Along the way, he also studied Tai Chi.
His training taught him how to read people.
Feel their energy. Know their intentions. He harnessed those abilities to understand his students. If something was off, he felt it and tried to address it before class, because one person’s energy can affect the entire room.
During one class, my energy was the problem. Sitting on the floor with my eyes closed, trying to meditate, my mind would not stop spinning. I didn’t hear Jim approach or sit beside me, so his voice, though low and soft, startled me. “I’m not trying to be nosey, but I can see that you heart is heavy, and your feet aren’t even on the ground. What’s going on?” he asked. That day, I came to realize how deceitful and manipulative one of my friends was. I was blinded because of misguided loyalty, and angry that I let it happen. “How did I get it so wrong?” I asked.
Words of wisdom
With a knowing grin, he said something I never forgot: “People can mess with you. They do it all the time. But what I’ve learned is that they can’t hurt you unless they get you to do something that goes against your values. If you stay true to who you are and what you believe, people can upset you, but they can never truly hurt you.” It took a while for the magnitude of that statement to set in, but he was right. It wasn’t as bad as I thought. After I processed what happened, I was still intact.
Setting a new course
At the end of that class, Jim asked all of the students to surround me and use their chi energy to replenish mine. He called it an aura combing. It was my first experience with energy healing, and it took me in a new direction; I became a Reiki Master because of Jim, and a great deal of my confidence and strength came from his instruction.
People come and go.
Some people are meant to be with us for a lifetime, and others for a short time. I lost touch with Jim and his wife after he stopped teaching, but quite often, with gratitude, I think about him, his wisdom, and how much he helped me. I never got to tell him that because he passed away before I even knew he was sick, but I hope he knew. Is there someone who taught you a valuable lesson? Are they aware of the impact they had on you? Are you still able to tell them?
Until next time,
Jean
AKA The Strategic Chicken - making life’s journey one strategic step at a time.
