Grief Touches Us All
Image by Sanet Nieuwoudt from Pixabay
All of us will be touched by grief at some point. It’s impossible not to be when death is a natural part of life. We try to protect ourselves from it, grasping at the chance to prolong life. Yet somewhere in the back of our minds, in the place where we store the unthinkable, there is a deep understanding that we will lose loved ones. We don’t like to talk about it, but we know.
We try to prepare for it.
But are we ever ready to say goodbye? We may think we are, to the point that we ask God to allow a loved one to pass, simply to relieve their suffering. But their last breath is always followed by shock and disbelief, because in the final hours, we still need to believe there is room for a miracle.
It might be easier to let go of elders, like great-grandparents and grandparents who have lived long and full lives, but it’s harder when it’s our parents. Harder still to lose a sibling, spouse, or someone who feels like family. The hardest by far has to be the loss of a child because parents are not supposed to outlive their children. It’s not the natural order of things.
What about a child’s grief?
A child who’s lost a parent, a sibling, or someone special shouldn’t have to find a way through that kind of pain, devastation, and profound feelings of abandonment alone.
So how do we help?
Everyone grieves their own way, including children. What is helpful for one might not work for another. We can listen. Lend an ear, allowing them to talk things through. But we will never know what to say or how to say it unless we’ve been through it ourselves. Walked in their shoes. But even if we had the same experience, it’s difficult to compare because each grief journey is unique. Individual. We go through the various stages of grief in the order we choose, and at our own pace. There is no right or wrong way and no set amount of time to get through it.
Professional support helps
Some of us are fortunate to have strong support systems in place to help us through grief, but others don’t and they need more. I am proud that my first two novels, Biz’s Journey Home and the sequel, Because of Biz, were accepted by Eluna Network as resources to help teens and families impacted by grief. The novels, known within Eluna resources as The Biz Books, are about a mother and her 12-year-old daughter, coping with the death of their husband and father, and how adopting a horse in need helps them feel his presence and rebuild their lives.
Every year, millions of children and families grieve.
Eluna is there to help them through its grief camp, programs, and resources. Camp Erin is the largest national grief camp program for youths and families, and Camp Erin Online is a virtual extension. Eluna believes that the power of community ensures that no child grieves alone. Do you know a child or a family grieving? How can you help?
Until next time,
Jean
AKA The Strategic Chicken
- Making life’s journey one strategic step at a time.
